How are You? I'm Awwwwwesomeee

As in my previous blog notes, I am currently not smarter than a fifth grader. I mean, it's all Roman to me! What might that suggest? Oh yes, Roman numerals. And in Spanish too! Equis, "C", "M"... Zzzzz. Yeah right, I don't know what those stand for. Thank goodness the teacher didn't ask me to do that one. 

That was only the beginning. Our superintendent (of sorts) came yesterday and is apparently demanding that we start teaching Science (our whatever subject we have) immediately. She also wants us to speak ONLY English with the teachers who know how to say Hello, Goodbye, and How are you, in SEPARATE breaths (unlike the students)! 

I am working on this "Iamfinethankyouhowareyou" phenomenon. I taught the students the word AWESOME! Wonderful! So-So! Not Good! Good morning how are you? I'm Awesomeeeeeeeee. Oh and I spruced it up a bit too. Thumbs up! Bit of a gravel voice! Drag out the word and you have a great response! I did tell them that's not how you REALLY say it, but come on- it is so much more fun that way. We went around the room, and  decided we were all awesome.  Some of the students may not have been awesome, but they all seemed to enjoy it! I introduced the other words as well, but Awesome was the prize winner. Lets see them try to stick that in a one breath answer "Iamawesomethankyouhowareyou" Nahhh doesn't work. 

Anyways, after the introductions, there I am, going into the 5/6 grade "medio de conocimiento" aka science classes. Oh hey guys, whats up? Chemical changes? Combustion? Parts of a flower? States of Matter?  Nooooooooo problem. I read up on these topics on a daily basis!

I attempted to draw a flower on the board but that definitely didn't work. Science + Art= Disaster! I moved on to labeling the parts in English and relating them to Spanish. Anther? Pollen Tube? What a joke. The teacher then asked me if I learned this as a student. I told her yes, but honestly, I don't remember. I am putting my trust in RSD13, and if I did need to know this stuff, then maybe it would have been emphasized a bit more. I think Nance should learn all this though, since she is so into her flowers. 

Next up: Chemical vs Physical Changes. I got to talk about Combustion! Don't ask me what it is, but I got to talk about the vocabulary words such as oxygen, substances and heat! I left it at that. Who really knows what combustion is?

The grand finale! The Reproduction System! Commence the giggling. That was a blast. I think the students were probably more interested in learning how to say Penis and Vagina in English than in anything else. To be honest, I was expecting a giggle-fest, but I guess the interest level was high enough. I am guessing that they are piecing together these new words to call each other names.

Besides the serious stuff, I have had the opportunity whip out my dancing shoes. Oh thats right, I taught the students the YMCA and the Cha Cha Slide. It brought back many bad memories of middle school dances, but hey, it is still fun. One of the girls thought that the "Y" was a "W". I can completely see that. I am surprised that hasn't caused more confusion over the years. The head really does cause a problem. I'm gonna have to talk to my buddy from the Village People (we go way back) and tell him whats up.

The Cha Cha slide was a completely different experience. I mean, these kids don't know the word for "bad", how would they know the word for "stomp?" Oh thats right, I danced up a storm. I had the pleasure of doing the Cha Cha Slide by myself in front of several classes, and then I also had the pleasure of stomping, sliding, criss-crossing, and just standing and smiling during the Charlie Brown. I'm not even GOING there. If I couldn't draw a flower, there is no way I could recreate a Peanuts comic strip. However, the kids got a general idea for the dance, now I just need to send them to Maegen's wedding. They would be the life of the party! They even would match in their snazzy white shirt/ plaid skirt/ blue pants combos. 

In other breaking news, I had Croquetas de Bacalo today! No its not Bakalo (house music?) but it is fish. I didn't enjoy them, I recommend sticking to some Carne or Jamon.

I am also listening to the debate on NPR. It is being broadcast live here in Spain as "El Debate." I had no patience to sit here at some rather late (early) hour. Thanks to a fellow Democrat, I was tipped off on NPR. I muted the TV so I can see McCain's lovely facial expressions well getting it stuck to him. Obama knows whats up! Tonight, we met a few Englishmen. They were really obnoxious. The guy initiated conversation by pretending he thought we were Spanish. We were clearly speaking English. He walks by and goes "Buenas Noche? Buenos Noches?" I rolled my eyes, but he managed to continue talking and recruit his drunk friend who sprayed my face while talking about how rich Connecticut it. I reminded him of Bridgeport/Hartford, but he was up on his high horse about Greenwich. He then continued on to talk about how America is corrupt, and England is not. Tony Blair? Really? These guys were up on their laurels, and they annoyed me. They also assumed we like Bush. I have met more intelligent Spainards. A lot of them do make generalizations about us, but they don't always voice (or spray) them.  I went on an intercambio last night, and we talked about guns in the USA versus Spain. Thanks to the lovely action flicks from Hollywood, apparently most Spainards think Americans run around with guns. I mean I am known to own a few Supersoakers in my day, but actual guns? Nooooo way. I explained that not everyone owns guns, but that those who hunt kind of need a gun if they are planning on shooting any animals. Claro!

Well it is now ___ am here. Time for a math question! Imagine that I am pointing to a clock I drew on the board (yup, no clocks) 

4AM- 6 hours = _________

After that brain stumper, I am going to listen to more of "El Debate" and call it a day! I have to get up early for my haircut tomorrow. I shall keep you all posted. I hope I do not have a mullet next time I write!