So yesterday I decided to go see a movie, La Mujer de Anarquista. It is a movie set during the Spanish Civil War, a fictional story intertwined with actual footage from the 1930s and 40s. Right up my history-loving alley. I arrive at the theater 15 minutes before the movie is set to begin. I walk in to a small crowded lobby (maybe the size of my kitchen?) jam packed with Spainards who are chowing down on popcorn. Vale. I don't want any popcorn, I bought my own bag of jumbo- peanut M&Ms down the street at the grocery store. I'm so smart! Well, at least for another 3-4 minutes.
I am hanging out in the lobby, confused as to why the doors aren't open yet considering the movie was supposed to have started already. I just figured this was a Spanish-style movie, and I grabbed the free literature in the lobby. Then they FINALLY opened the door and all the popcorn eaters made their way into the theater.
I hand the man my ticket, and he directs me to my assigned seat. Yes that is right, ASSIGNED seats. I learned about this back when I was in Salamanca, I picked my seat to a movie like I was picking a seat to a concert. Bizarre! Regardless, it does avoid confusion as to where to sit! Where do you want to sit? Oh I don't know, where do YOU want to sit, etc... That doesn't happen here, the decision is already made!
So into my assigned seat I go, with some confusion as to why there is an empty seat next to me. I saw the computer when I bought my ticket, and it showed the entire row as being full. Whatever! I just settled in and started eating my huge bag of M&Ms. Right as the previews come on, a couple walks in together. The man takes the seat next to me, and the woman sits in the row in front of me. I realize that they are together, and I offer to switch seats. A few gracias-s later, I am crawling over the row in which I was sitting ( I was on the far end) and passing the people in the disgruntled row ahead of me. It was at this point that I stepped VERY hard on a woman's foot (yup the one sitting next to me) who immediately started complaining. I apologized 3-4 times, and tried to get comfy in the seat. At this point, the "NO HABLES" bit is over and the movie is starting.
"Focus Films" comes up on the screen. Hm strange. That is an American film company. Then some old film clips of men being herded into trucks comes on. Hmm this looks familiar. Then MILK flashes across the screen. FABULOUS! I am sitting in on the wrong movie. I look around to see if anyone else seems confused, but everyone else seems to be in the right theater.
Of course, its just ME who walked into the theater where the movie poster said "La Mujer de Anarquista" I debate leaving the theater, but then I realize that the movie I initially planned on seeing was already a good 45 minutes into the film, and I worried for my general well-being in terms of crossing this angry aisle of movie goers. I stayed put.
A minute or two later, the guard who initially ripped my ticket (THAT SAID LA MUJER DE ANARQUISTA) comes and shines his flashlight on the row behind me. That's right, the couple who I reunited by giving up "my" seat. The movie has alright started at this point and the man says "No Pasa Nada" and goes up to one of the front rows.
Oops! For the next 5 minutes or so I move around in my seat a little bit, going through my different options in my head. I eventually decide that moving would be nearly impossible (this woman was BIG) and I really didn't want to get popcorn thrown at me.
I settled in my seat and sat through another showing of Milk. Thank goodness it wasn't Glitter or some other painful movie. I actually like this movie Milk! And the second time was great. I wasn't squirming the whole time in anticipation of what I knew was going to happen. I was also able to read the subtitles and learn some interesting words in Spanish! However, I do not consider the translation of the word "schmuck" is "imbecil". I also was surprised to see the lack of audience reactions at other parts of the film, they were completely silent minus a few certain pie-tosses.
Toward the end of the movie, a couple walks in and sits down in the front row. I think to myself, how can this be! There are ASSIGNED seats, you can't sneak in a theater in Spain! Just doesn't work. There are a few mumbles across the audience, and within 2 minutes the couple left. I go from being annoyed to wanting to seek that couple out and unite in our confusion of the theater. While it was very dark and I couldn't make out their faces, I will assume that they were in the next showing of "La Mujer de Anarquista"
Anyways, at the end of the movie, I was ready to get out of the theater. I didn't need any questions asked on behalf of the couple that I "helped" or the woman who I walked all over. I went out into the lobby and tried to figure out how I ended up in the wrong theater. I fished through my bag and pulled out my movie stub, and saw Sala 2 written on my ticket. OF COURSE! Yup, I clearly went into Sala 1. Another thing, ticket checker man should have checked my ticket. And one other thing, I couldn't even GET to Sala 2 when I arrived at the theater. We are talking a Spanish movie- mosh pit here. The lobby was now emptying out of the Milk audience who I sat with, and was full of people waiting for the next showing. I looked and saw that the doors were open in Sala 2 (they were also CLOSED earlier) and that people were being seated for the next showing. I looked at my watch and realized that I could technically go to the next showing.
I pull out my cellphone and double check the time. I decide at this point that rather than leave, I will play the dumb American card and try to get into this movie. I ignored my growling stomach (Probably saying, HELLO you need to eat dinner!) and approach the ticket taker. I explain my dilemma and he looks at me with a half look of dis-belief and the other half of pity. It looks like I am out of luck as he explains that I should buy another ticket, I respond and say BUT I LEFT the movie! The man had already torn my ticket, blah blah. The guy goes to close the door, and motions me in. He says "Venga Venga" and I am full of happiness.
This guy let me into the movie! I was officially seeing a double feature in a mostly legal sort of way. I sat into my seat and prepared myself to enjoy the movie. Minus my hunger, things were ok. The only unpleasant part of my second movie showing was the teenage boy who settled down in the seat next to me. He started rustling some papers, and I thought to myself, "Hmmm what is he eating?" and a familiar smell of a Whopper filled the air. I wanted to grab it out of his hands and eat it myself, but I resisted and chowed down on my M&Ms (yes there were still some left) and watched the movie.
At the end of the film, I jumped out of my seat and headed home ( which is literally around the corner). On my way out, I debated thanking the guy again, but he was too busy reading his comic book. I thought of the usual types that read comic books, and then I stopped myself. Hey, I can't judge this guy, I went into the WRONG movie.
To make a long, rather embarrassing, story short; I share with you my words of wisdom. You may commence your laughter immediately following the final piece of advice.
Meghan's Movie Advice
1) Look at your movie ticket before you wait to go into a theater.
2) Do not assume a movie is starting late because the lobby is so jammed packed of people that you cannot move. They are most likely waiting for another movie.
3) Bring lots of snacks if you plan on sitting in a theater for 4 hours.
And last but not least,
4) If you are living in a foreign country, people can tell. They are most likely judging you regardless of whether or not you interact with them. If something like this happens to you (which it shouldn't based on my great advice) play it up! As long as its not border control or a cop, go for it. You are already being labeled and you might as well use it to your benefit.
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